The Yes Framework: Building Your Opportunity Filter

Time to get better at figuring out what gets you to a solid "Yes".

Now that we know all about the mental gymnastics that occur when we go through saying no to an opportunity -- let’s just go ahead and confirm that learning to say no is a superpower. Once you master it, another challenge emerges: how do you know when to actually say yes?

Not every yes is created equal, though. They can lead to financial growth, career momentum, or widespread visibility. Others, however, can quietly drain your time, money, and energy. Without a filter, it’s easy to fall back into the trap of overcommitment. See how this all works together?

Those pesky habits of making decisions based on guilt, ego, or fear of missing out are still there.

The good news: your yes can become just as intentional as your no. That’s where a helpful framework comes in.

The Cost of an Unfiltered Yes

We’ve all been there -- accepting the coffee meeting “just in case,” joining an advisory board because “it might look good,” or taking on a job or consulting client who isn’t really aligned because “well, it’s something.” Those yeses come with hidden costs: lost hours, diluted focus, and sometimes even resentment.

The danger zone comes into play when too many unfiltered yeses keep you from having the energy and bandwidth for the opportunities that could genuinely move the needle toward your goals.

Many years ago, when I launched Pulse + Signal (my digital strategy consultancy working with healthcare orgs and startups at the dawn of the Health 2.0 era) I had to learn some hard lessons about this. I wanted to prove myself as a value add to companies I worked with but also to push through imposter syndrome from the things I wrote about via the company blog.

The way I saw it, if I said yes to most of the opportunities that came my way, it would show that I indeed could be of service (I’m supposed to be here! I’m legit!) and that I was the right person for the opportunity. The result: overcommitting, dropping the ball and being consistently exhausted. I essentially had no real clear sense of what was an energizing opportunity or FOMO-driven drainer.

The Six-Point Yes Rubric

Here’s a framework you can use to screen new opportunities before you get your yes ready to go. Think of it like a personal filter: when something comes your way, run it through these questions.

1. Season of Growth
   Does this align with where I am right now or where I might want to be in five years?
   

2. Strengths & Stretch
   Does this opportunity allow me to use my core strengths—or stretch me in a way I actually want to grow?
   

3. Visibility & Platform Building
   Does this strategically increase my visibility in the spaces I want to influence (press, media, thought leadership, community reach)? I remember those days of having a blogger pass to access events, ah nostalgia.
   

4. Impact & Legacy
   Will this yes help me move closer to the outcomes I care most about in my work and the people I serve?
   

5. Financial Alignment
   Does the compensation (financial or otherwise) support my current needs and goals? Or will it create unnecessary strain?

6. Future Seeds
   Does this open doors for future aligned opportunities, or is it a dead-end distraction?
   

Yes, with Intention → Change Everything

Story time! Back in 2019, I wrote about why I started Onboard Health (my executive search firm dedicated to building a more inclusive workforce in healthcare innovation) and it absolutely exploded. In the early days, I was driven by this vision for sure but what really changed the game was when Dr. Aletha Maybank read my article and out of the blue, asked if I could help her build her team as she had recently began a leadership role at the American Medical Association. I didn’t have multiple years under my belt as an executive recruiter but her belief in the ecosystem I built already in the space and my dedication to equity which was aligned with her own vision, led to the success I created with the company.

It stretched me, gave me visibility in a new space, and the doors it opened ended up shaping a big part of my career. To this day, the people I connected with while building Onboard Health continue to have a powerful effect on how I show up.

In contrast, I’ve also said yes without a rubric—usually because I felt guilty saying no and I was a card carrying member of the Hustle Culture that swept so many of us up in a tangled web of self importance, trying to do good and an always-on variety of platforms. Those yeses turned into time drains, with little return on energy, impact, or even joy.

The difference is night and day.

Time to Make Better Yeses

Your yeses should build your life, not just fill your calendar (or the deep recesses of your mind). Take ten minutes today and draft your Personal Yes Rubric. Pick three or four filters from above that resonate most with you and keep them handy when new opportunities show up.

Reflection Prompt: What do you want your yeses to build this season?

I’d love to hear from you: What filter would you add to your own Yes Framework?

Would a Yes Rubric worksheet be useful to have on hand? If so, drop a comment in here and I’ll get one over to you!